david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We had sex on a dog bed..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
