i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I just sharted jello shots
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