i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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