I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
