hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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