A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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