I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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