So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
