but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
