Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
