I hate all girls vehemently.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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