You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
