wat bout pragnant strippers??
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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