I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
