We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
