One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
