last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
