it was like his penis was on wheels.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
