Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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