Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
