Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
