just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
