I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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