Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
