His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize