U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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