turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
