I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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