I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
