Sponge bath it is.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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