all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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