and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Randomize
