the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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