im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
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Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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