the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
