Pants 0. Shit 1.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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