Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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