ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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