Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
