WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
