Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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