What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
