She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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