i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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