I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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