Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
