Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
