Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
