Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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