called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize