you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up under a house in Key West
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
