It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
