let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
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Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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