I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize