His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize