He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
