We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
