girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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