Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
