im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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