Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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