my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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