Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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