I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
