btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
